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The Dark Lady Podcast
The Dark Lady Podcast

Episode 13 · 1 week ago

Dinner With A Werewolf

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

The Dark Lady goes on a dinner date with a ditzy young man named Kurt. Things go horribly wrong when Kurt unintentionally transforms into a werewolf.

When the witching hour draws near, she will whisper in your ear. Nightmares do come true. This is a horror fiction podcast featuring stories that will shock, disturb and dismay. You're listening to the dark lady podcast. The Dark Lady podcast presents dinner with a Werewolf. Hi, welcome to the lamb chop. My name is Luene. I'll be your waitress this evening. Can I get you started with something to drink? Hi, Luan, a glass of water would be lovely. Thank you, dear. You're very welcome. Are you ready to order? No, not yet. Not a problem. Just let me know when you're ready. Okay, Um, I don't mean to Pry, but I heard from the other waiters that you've been here a while and you still haven't ordered anything. Are you waiting for someone? Yeah, his name is Kurt. I'm starting to think that he's in no show. Oh, I see, I'm sorry to hear that. Mm Hmm, that's...

...what I get for chasing after bad boys. I think I know what you mean. You should have seen the last guy I dated. He was a real lady killer. Oh, tall, dark hair, crazy eyes. He was super good looking. Just one look and it was all over. He swept me off my feet and into the trunk of his car. What I mean? Zip tizes aren't my favorite. I'm more of a straight jacket and nylon rope kind of girl. I'm not gonna lie, though. It was fun at first. Then it started getting weird. He wanted me to dig my own grave and I'm like what, and he's like and I'm like you no way. He was being such a jerk about it. Things got really heated and I kind of lost my temper. I sort of buried him alive. Um, I beg your pardon. Oh, it was only for a little while, I mean it was supposed to be for a little while. I needed to cool off. I took his car and I went to get a child Latte. On the drive back I realized, Oh my God, Dark Lady, you idiot, you forgot to mark the grave. How are you going to find him now? But if you've buried as many bones as I have, you're bound to lose one or two. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Hallu Ann I uh Um, sorry, on your left. Hey, Jeez, Hi'm here, him, here. Sorry,...

I'm late. I got lost here. These are for you. Oh, poppies. You shouldn't have they look so fresh. Look at that, there's roots and everything. Did you rip these out of someone's backyard? Ha Ha, yeah, Oh, Lu Anne, yes, before you go, do you think you can put these in some water? There should be a spear vase in the back right, sure, I'll see what I can do. Um. Is there anything else I can get for you? How about a Caesar Salad and a bottle of Merlot? Tense eggs please, medium, rare. Um, okay, coming right up. Thank you, Lu Anne. That girl is so cute I could just eat her up. So, Kurt, tell me a bit about yourself. What do you like to do for fun? I like to go on long walks at the beach and long walks at the park and long walks on the street. Yes, I like walks. Do you like walks? Well, I like taking my dog out for a walk. Sometimes I take people out for walks too, especially if they're good boys. I'm I'm a good boy. Do you want to walk me? I don't know. Maybe we should get to know each other first. Don't you think sounds good? What do you like to do for fun? Let's see, I like watching scary movies. I like moon bathing at the...

...cemetery. I like hanging out in old abandoned buildings. Oh and sometimes, when I'm in the mood, I like to scream and whale and sorrow. It's so funny when mortals hear me and freak out. Do they run when they hear you? They do. Do you chase them if they make me mad? Yes, stupid kids. Where do you work? I work at Redwood National Park. I'm a park ranger. Oh, that's interesting. Are you one of those guides that give people a bus tour around the park? Oh, sometimes, I mostly do foot patrol and search and rescue. It's a big park, over eight hundred thousand acres. Anybody can get lost. Even you, being a park ranger, must be so exciting. Venturing through thousands of acres of dark, untamed forest, daring to climb an unforgiving mountain terrain, braving the wild, exposed to the elements, being at the mercy of Mother Nature, wildfires, avalanches and grizzly bears. You must have a ton of Harrowing Tales of Adventure. I sure do well, Mr Big outdoorsman, why don't you tell me about one of your youthful escapades. Um. Oh, last week we had a bird watcher visit the park. She climbed the tree and she couldn't get down. She got stuck. Oh was she like a little girl? Or she was approximately thirty to sixty years old? Okay, how big was the tree? Was it a big tree, like...

...a giant Sequoia Tree? Those are big trees. Uh sure. Did you know that these trees can grow up to over three feet tall and eighteen feet wide? Oh, these majestic trees can live over three thousand years and one of the oldest living beings on planet earth. Oh, that's interesting. It is. So how far did the bird watcher climb up the UH, the SECHOIEA tree? Yeah, about eight feet sea. She got stuck on wasn't very big. Oh, it was a juvenile tree. It was ten or maybe fifteen ft tall Max. Oh, but I got a ladder and I helped get her down to safety. Wow, that's that's great, Kurt. Where is that waitress with my wine? Waitress, she's smoking a cigarette. No, wait, oh, oh, no, that's it's a Vaye pen. Oh, that smells like vanilla. Is She now? Yep, Oh, she's smoking in the alley by the dumpster. Oh really, how do you know that? I can smell her. That's one powerful nose you've got. Hurt, thank you. And what big ears you have, the better to hear you with Dark Lady, and what big eyes you have, the better to see you, with dark lady, and what big teeth you have, the better to, uh not eat you with dark lady. M MMM,...

...so you work at Redwood National Park Right? Oh yes, I heard stories about that place. What kind of stories? Oh, scary stories. People say a Werewolf lives there. There's this website called where the monsters are dot com, and there's this huge thread where hundreds of people reported seeing a Werewolf at your park. Oh what have they been saying? They all pretty much say the same thing. People go camping at Redwood on a full moon. Then they would hear howling in the woods, the blood curdling and unnatural kind. It sounds like it was a coyote maybe, but some people were unlucky enough to see this thing up close. It's attacked hikers and bikers and mountain climbers. Sometimes it chases after R vs. they say this thing is so strong it can rip the bumper off your car sounds made up. You know wherewolves don't exist. Maybe it was a case of mistaken identity. What does it look like? Are there any pictures or videos? I mean they're probably fake. Can I? Can I see them? Uh, no pictures or videos on the website so far, but the general consensus is that this thing is Harry. Is Twelve ft tall, yeah, that's Pretty Tall, and walks upright. Well, I mean, anyone can do that. Its head is shaped like a wolf, but it has the body of a man. It has red glowing eyes and razor sharp teeth. It has in human speed and strength. So if it's not a werewolf, what do you think it could be? Uh, maybe it was a black bear or a mountain...

...lion or a squirrel. A Squirrel? Well, squirrels are meaner than they look. Kurt, you're obviously lying to me. No, I'm not. Okay, for the sake of argument, let's say you're not a werewolf. I'm not aware wolf, right, but if you were a ware Wolf, and I'm not, but if you were, would you be the kind of Werewolf that has a sensitive and altruistic side, the kind that transforms responsibly protecting or trying to protect everyone around him by locking himself in a basement or handcuffing himself to a radiator? Or are you the kind of Werewolf that doesn't really know or care about his situation? Like, Hey, who cares? If I'm in a room full of innocent people? Screw it, I'll just hulk out here and kill everyone in sight. MM HMM. I do have a sensitive and autistic side, but I wouldn't handcuff myself to a radiator. Radiators make scary noises. I mean, not that I would have to handcuff myself to anything, you know, because you know I'm I'm not that. Oh, I thought you would be the latter. Huh, how come? Because there's a full moon tonight, Curtie, what time is it? You have about ten seconds until the sun goes down. Oh crap. All Right, here you go, a Caesar Salad, bottle of Merlot and ten steaks medium rare. Can I get you any hot sauce or yes? Yeah, Oh my God, h what the Hell is going on? Yeh, down,...

Oh my God, h m HM, and there he goes, exit left. M H Geez, what a mess. Oh my God, I am so embarrassed. There's dead people everywhere. Luanne, you're still alive. H I know right. I can't believe it either. Stupid wearable forgot his time...

...of the month. Oh poor thing, he really did a number on you. Don't cry, you still look really cute for a meat loaf. Lu Anne, did you hear that help is on the way? Uh, I gotta go. I'd stay and help you, but I really don't want to be around to explain all this to the cops. Hey, it's been fun. Hang in there, okay, bye, M M M.

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